So my cute little 3 year old son was saying the funniest things the other day. I was explaining to him he had a cold. To which he replied he was warm. Then I told him his nose was running, and he replied “No, it’s walking.”
Cute right? Not always.
He is too smart for his own good sometimes and much too observant. That same morning I was getting out of the shower as he ran into the bathroom holding his crotch announcing he had to go potty. “Ok, go right here on mommy’s potty.”
Well, as all boys do he proceeded to drop his “manly load” in the toilet and needed to be wiped. So there I am …naked, standing over him, wiping his bottom. Big mistake.
What he did next is really a knee slapper. He reached up with his cute little fingers, grabbed a hold of my non-existent boob, yet overly present nipple and held on to that thing and asked, “Mommy, is this a chicken nugget?”
Let’s just say after breastfeeding two kids it looks like a vacuum sucker was placed to my boob, like you would a vacuum tight freezer bag. The life was sucked out of that thing and it shrunk to puberty boy proportions. Also, as a bonus my nipples are at attention 24-7 as if they are getting ready to parachute off my body in Alaskan air.
I have larger chested friends and when my boys grab ahold of their chest in curiosity, we don’t even apologize but use that as a learning experience. “Mommy lost hers, but ____________________did not.”
Chicken nugget boob syndrome. The struggle is real.